Good and Perfect: Cooper's Kindergarten Teacher

Even though he was returning to the same school, he was anxious about Kindergarten. He has a harder time with change than the others, so he was worried about what it would look like to be at school for the whole day and have to eat lunch. He’s a bit of a homebody and wasn’t sure he would enjoy being away from me for that long.

That’s why this picture makes me smile so much. Meet Miss Turner Fortner, Cooper’s Kindergarten teacher, and the young lady that has eased all my mama anxiety because I know that my sensitive one is in good hands.

I need to back up about fifteen years to explain why the picture is so precious to me.

We all have special people that come in and out of our lives at different times. I have a lot of old friends that I have fond memories of that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years but I know we could give big hugs and still share a deep bond today because of life that we experienced together.

But some people are on an even higher plane than that. Sometimes God takes your stories and weaves them together and just ties your families’ hearts in a big tight knot that can never be undone. And so it goes with me and the Fortners. We don’t live in the same town, we aren’t related, and we really don’t have mutual people between us that keep us afloat on what is going on with the others, but when I look back at the last 15 years, they have been a part of every high high and every low low in my life, in some way shape or form. If they weren’t physically present, they were there in spirit and in prayer.

One of Turner’s coworkers said that she would love to know the story about how we were so close and I told Josh that I might write about it, to which he said, “then that would definitely be the longest thing you’ve ever written.” And he’s right. He knows the history, and he knows that the good, the bad, the ugly, and the hilarious could really make up a whole book.

But it starts in college, where I was very involved with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and did a lot with high school outreach. My junior year I was in a leadership position with FCA where I communicated with area high schools and organized teams of people from Clemson to go lead these high school FCA huddles.

In the spring of that year, I was looking at our chapter’s message board and noticed that someone had posted that they were looking for a college student to lead the youth and children’s programs at their church for the summer. The posting piqued my interest because I was scheduled for major jaw surgery which was going to have a significant recovery time and I thought that something “low key” might be a good fit for me. The church was about 25 minutes away from campus and I liked the idea of staying in Clemson for the summer. It seemed like a good fit.

So I replied to the posting and told the person on the other end of the email address that I might be interested but that if they preferred a male, my role with FCA and high school outreach gave me lots of connections to other students who might be a good fit and that I would be happy to put some feelers out about who might be interested.

Angie (Turner’s mom) responded and told me that there were actually more girls than boys in their youth group and that a female would be a good fit. She and I have often shared how crazy it is that God used a message board and an email response to shape so much of the next many years of our families’ lives.

Angie set up an interview and I went to meet a team of people at this tiny little church in a mill community in Piedmont, SC. The Fortner family was actually the only family at the church that wasn’t from that area, but they had driven from Greenville for many years because it was Robert’s home church and they felt like they needed to continue serving there for a season.

I ended up getting the job to be that youth and children’s leader for the summer, and that summer ended up turning into three years. It was a little place, and the youth and children combined were smaller in number than the discipleship groups I later led at my current church, but those years and that service were such a formative time in my life.

In that summer of 2001, it became clear very early on that Angie was much less a point of contact for me and much more a big sister type. She and Robert took me under their wings and encouraged, prayed for, and laughed with me. I fell in love with their family and bonded quickly with their children, especially their little girl.

The same summer that I got to know them, things started changing in my friendship with Josh. Angie was my sounding board as I fretted over whether or not I could like him “that way.” I had known him since middle school and always considered him a good friend. My feelings were changing but I had reservations and ultimately she was one who encouraged me to be open and give him a chance.

The first night that he and I spent time together after I started feeling a little different, I actually stayed at their house because I was leaving out of town the next day and they were a halfway point to where I was heading. I remember seeing Angie and her saying, “sooooo?” and responding with a goofy grin that said yep, I think you’re right.

During the time that my relationship with Josh was growing, my bond with Turner also grew. I started attending her dance competitions and watched her grow as a beautiful little dancer. I took her under my wing and spent many fun car rides dancing like a fool with her. I loved that kid, she was so much fun. I carried her with me to Clemson and would like to say that my influence solidified her love of the University and the Tigers.

Over those years, her family watched me fall in love. Turner was there to see our friendship grow from friends to dating to engaged to married. And it is only fitting that she and her friends from church were honored guests at our wedding.

We got married and moved on from that little church. At that point I think I would’ve seen them as special people from a special season, but I had no idea how God would continue to intersect our paths. We stayed in touch and would get random phone calls on occasion asking for help with middle school math homework when Josh was still teaching. Angie was a sounding board for work, stress, and early marriage stuff for me. When I had a surprise pregnancy, she listened to me freak out and graciously answered every random medical question I could come up with.

My due date with Adri was 2 days after Turner’s birthday. She rooted hard for me to have that little girl on her birthday. Instead, she was born one day before. And then one month later, when I was in the throes of newborn stuff, Turner was diagnosed with cancer. It was sudden and scary, and as a new mom, my heart ached for Robert and Angie in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to before that.

Turner fought and won that battle. I watched her become a teenager, I grinned and chuckled at her boy problems. I prayed for her to have solid friendships. She would come and visit our house and play with my baby girl and then I would take her out to dinner and chat about teenage stuff.

Then, in 2010, my family was the one struck with a scary diagnosis. Because they live very close to the children’s hospital, Angie and Turner were the very first visitors we had in ICU after Adri’s brain tumor diagnosis. Robert came that evening and gave me the biggest “I know what you feel like as a parent, and this really sucks” hug. Turner had several cute hats monogrammed for Adri because we were afraid she would lose her hair. Angie came to the hospital after reality set in, and we sat in a waiting room – for hours – while I wept and got angry and let it all out. We cried together and we laughed together. She was so full of grace. So many people were wonderful to us during that time, but it was such a comfort to have those people who knew those emotions and knew those walls and that waiting room and that ICU. They started and maintained our caringbridge page in the beginning and were an absolute rock for me during some emotional lows. Turner stayed home from school to keep Cooper, my 4 month old, on the day of Adri’s surgery so that my family could be there with me.

Adri fought that battle and won, just like Turner. And with that, their bond went much deeper than sharing the same birthday week. They were survivors. They are survivors.

Then Turner went to Clemson. And she made the rallycats. And my kids grew up knowing that football games were for watching Turner dance. She’s part of the reason they fell in love with Clemson and the Tigers.

I’m not even sure if my kids ever understood the connection, because we weren’t church friends or family friends or local friends. They were just special people that we went to visit when we were at Clemson and that mommy spent lots of time messaging, emailing, and texting. They might not have known how we knew each other, but they knew how much I love that family. We all celebrated when she was awarded Miss First Friday.

Turner got an early childhood degree the same year Josh needed a K5 teacher at Oakland and it was a perfect match. I’m sure it was assumed that he pulled strings to make it work but it honestly was God’s hand. She was the right fit at the right time. She had other interviews before Oakland but that was the one that made sense.

The spring and summer before she started there, her friendship with Ben started changing. Is this all starting to sound like déjà vu?, because that’s how it feels like our lives have been lived. Ben was a longtime friend that she had known since middle school, and she wasn’t initially sure that she could see him as more than that. I spent many many hours talking with her and I encouraged her to be open to where it might lead.

At the same time that she was growing in her relationship with Ben, I watched her grow as a young lady and a teacher. And when J came to live with us, she was the Kindergarten teacher with the smallest numbers, so he was placed in her class. She loved him so well and gave him so much confidence. I loved watching her lead as a teacher and love this boy in our home that needed so much love. I loved being able to share my first experience as a foster mom with her.

Last week Cooper started kindergarten, and as luck would have it (okay, I’m lying, there was more than luck involved), he was placed in Ms. Fortner’s class. She is the perfect fit for him, and I’m not just saying that from an extreme bias (which I readily admit that I have). It is a blessing for me and for him and for her parents to see how God continues to weave our families together.

She was my daughter’s age when I met her. I have watched her through elementary, middle, private, public, high school, cancer, college, dancing, boyfriends, a young career, and engagement. Her family has cheered me on through college, a young career, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, and scary diagnoses.

She is Cooper’s teacher, but God took a random post on a message board 15 years ago and started bonding our families in a way that I never ever would’ve imagined. So “Cooper’s teacher” is just a temporary title in a long history that we share, but we are going to soak up every minute of it.