So, I’ve decided to hijack Natalie’s blog. A little risky? Absolutely. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist and overachiever, I typically stick with what I know: teaching, learning, and school leadership. I’m not generally one who seeks out risks but for Mother’s Day I thought it’d be worth a try. Maybe I’ll rack up a few points with the Mrs.
Maybe she’d find my inability to articulately communicate my thoughts sweet and romantic.
The men’s ministry at our church often speaks to passivity or the challenge to reject it. Well, here I am: vulnerable and transparent. Two words that I would never use to describe myself. I don’t admit to be as verbal or as versed in words as Natalie. And I’m sure the heck not as self-reflective.
There are MANY things I appreciate about my wife. I want to speak to a couple of those things that come to mind when thinking of her as mom. Natalie is smart. Her ability to effectively communicate her thoughts occur with much ease. She has a vivid, detailed memory and can make strong connections among seemingly disconnected events. It’s truly a God given talent.
However, almost 8 years ago, she put these things aside. Before we decided for Natalie to stay home, her income was more, she had started her masters, and her young career was on a trajectory to early success. She knew she could love our kids and family better if she was at home. In her willingness to stay home, she said “No” to her dreams, talents, and goals…and, said “Yes” to mine. She allowed me the opportunity to pursue my career, my dreams, and my goals.
It’s been almost 8 years since she left work and a job she loved. During this time, she has battled through loads of laundry, endured countless days of whininess, and has remained committed to the endless need to discipline, guide, and support our children. Through her sacrifice, we have been blessed. Natalie’s sacrifice is a genuine act of love, a love that overwhelms and humbles me. Our family is better for it. Our youngest will be starting school (half day) next year and this season, as we have known it, will soon come to a close. I am anxious to see how God will use her and her gifts to glorify Him; I know he will honor the sacrifice she has made.
Before Natalie and I became a thing, long before she accepted that she might like me in “that way,” we were friends. Friendships are not an area in which Natalie struggles. She has the ability to make friends with anyone and does an incredible job of maintaining and growing these friendships. I’m not so good at the second part. Maybe it’s a female thing, but I think Natalie has a true knack for this.
As a mom, she is committed to the relationships our children have with us and, possibly more so, with one another. As hard and tiring as this can be with four children (8, 5, and two 4-year olds), she does not allow them to do their own thing, she is not passive and she doesn’t allow them to be passive in relationships. She encourages them to play and interact with one another. Sometimes they do this well and other times they do not.
She spends more time than we’d like to admit helping our children learn the importance of resolve, respect, and forgiveness when sibling conflict arises. While juggling a million other things, she places this emphasis of relationships and their relationships with one another above all else. As an only child, I did not live in this world. I was often content being by myself for long periods of time, doing what I wanted. Situations that required compromise, conflict, and forgiveness was more of a rarity for me.
At the end of most days, Natalie is spent. She is tired from the emotional energy required to guide and support our children through neediness, selfishness, and a sense of entitlement. But I am thankful for her continuous commitment to them and their relationships with one another. And I am thankful and lucky that she still looks hot, even when she's exhausted. She is so beautiful, but if you know her, then you know she is even more beautiful on the inside than out.
So, on this Mother’s Day, I want to acknowledge this amazing woman. A year ago, we were still a couple of months away from being officially licensed to foster. Through this past year, my love for Natalie has grown. She is sacrificing more of herself and providing our kids an even bigger realm for her to teach the importance of relationships. More than ever I am thankful for the person she is…her passion, her obedience, and her big heart. I am blessed to call her my wife and my kids, both biological and foster, are blessed to call her mom. Happy Mother’s Day to one amazing mom. I love you, Natalie!
